Assalamualaikum...
wah, it can be felt...how long I have been leaving this blog which means it has been long since I wrote about something...so, basically it feels awkward to begin with even a sentence...okay, I will go straight about this post...no mumbling please, my hand said...haha
yesterday was the day that my ex-roommate went to further her studies at UK...well, I was jealous at first...but eventually, when I was sending her off at the departure door, suddenly I felt the urge to cry....because of what ? I really don't know...it may be because of many reason...for instance, I might be sad because thinking when will my turn arrive to have such opportunity, what will happen if I am the one leaving for my further studies at somewhere far leaving my beloved, or how come my friend is leaving me behind??
honestly i just cannot fix my mind yesterday....everything rushed into my heads like it is a fast track highway...well, I just ended up decided not to think about it anymore...but anytime, the thought will come back of course...and, I went to KLIA to send her off with my another ex-roommate...so, on our way back leaving the KLIA by ERL, we talked....
guess what...??! nah, we were talking about something that we should not...which is about heart...specifically love....wow, what happened to us, KMB student taking IB to discuss such a thing...well, I am not saying that we are innocent girls that know nothing about love...it is just that, well KMB is meant for Kimia Mathematics Biology anyway...and also, IB would mean Internationally Busy...so, talking these things are actually out of 'what we should be doing' basically...it is not that we are not allowed, but there is no good reason for talking about it anyway...
so, we really did talk about it...but anyway, I would treat it like something that we need to actually comfort ourselves...no one can deny the fact that everyone might have their own times when they suddenly feel unease about their heart well being...more like suddenly thought of someone appear and you just think that you need him....well, human nature...so, I used yesterday opportunity as the way I can put out words that I can actually use for myself...
you know, sometimes, people heart is so hard to be understood...well, even understanding my own heart would be like ggggrrrr....haha...our conclusion yesterday was heart is very subjective...
I know I am doing wrong things...I decided the wrong choice even from the beginning...even when I have realized that I made the wrong choice, I would made one more through out my decision making...hurting yourself might be much better than being hurt, I guess...I know that for every single second starting from the second after I've decided something, I will be full of regrets...the regrets will only be increasing from time to time but I don't think there would be any other way out..huhu...
okay lah...that is all...just wanna say something since my heart is having inner complexion....wee...
until then, bye2...
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